The most powerful negotiation tactic is...
People tend to screw up the third step in a well-honed negotiation strategy! (Part II in our “How to ask for a raise” series.)
Part II of III on the topic of asking for a raise and negotiating. You can find Part I here and Part III here.
“I get that I need to ask for a raise, but I don’t understand how to even start the conversation?”
Last week, we covered laying the groundwork of asking for constructive criticism and knowing how to time your ask.
Now, let’s talk about how to actually negotiate!
Quick answer
Make your ask.
Shut up.
But I really recommend actually reading the detailed answer for scripts and guidance on how to do all that!
Detailed answer
You can find help for how to research market rates and what you should get paid here from a previous newsletter, so we’re going to jump right into how to make your ask.
Initiating a negotiation can feel really intimidating, especially if it’s your first time or two. Here is some guidance on actual language to use!
At your current job
One piece of classic negotiating advice is “don’t be the one to speak first.” Well, that might be a little difficult in a scenario where you’ve asked for a meeting with your manager to discuss a raise! It’s okay to be the one to speak first. Here are some ways to initiate the conversation with your manager:
“I’m hoping we can revisit my salary; it’s been [insert time] since it was last set and I’m hoping we might be able to increase it.”
“I would like…” It’s a powerful line to use because it’s not read as demand (“I want”) or wishy-washy (“I think”/”I feel”/”I believe”).
“I’ve done my research, and according to what I’ve found, the market rate for this kind of role is $X, and for all the reasons that we’ve discussed about my performance and contributions, I’d like a raise of X percent.”
During a job interview process
Don’t disclose salary history during your interview process. In fact, know your rights! It is illegal for potential employers to ask about salary history in certain states (or cities).
Sometimes it’s important to use the old “politician pivot.” Don’t answer the question you were asked. Answer the question you wanted to be asked! In the case of “How much did you make at your last job?” or “What salary range are you expecting?” try this on for size:
“Based on market rates and my skill set, my desired salary for this position is $X.”
Oftentimes you hear the advice to never make the first offer in a negotiation. Like all things personal finance, “it depends.” You might be really anxious about this being a first negotiation or in a stalemate.
There is merit to providing the initial anchor point in a negotiation, especially if it’s going to be based on research and potentially be higher than what a potential employer would offer.
“In my market research, I found that the top performers in this field make $X. [Insert context for you being a top performer.] I’m looking for $X or as close as possible to it. Is that something that’s doable on your end?”
AFTER YOU’VE MADE THE ASK
Just shut up. Yeah, I said it. Silence is really powerful. Dare I say, the most powerful tactic?!
The next time you’re in a casual conversation, just try pausing for five-Mississippi seconds. As in I want you to literally count “one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi, five Mississippi” in your head before you continue speaking. We tend to be super awkward and uncomfortable with any silence, which means if we make an ask and the response is silence, we’re tempted to freak out and start to undercut ourselves. Don’t do it!
PRACTICE
Be sure to practice your negotiation prior to walking in the room. You can do it in the mirror, but it’s better to role play with an IRL person. Especially a person with some level of experience negotiating themselves.
You should also practice in day-to-day life.
Practice one or two of these techniques in a low stakes way this week. Say to a roommate or partner, “I would like for you to do the dishes.” (and then shut up!) or ask “Who ate my leftovers?” and let the silence hang!
Another option is to go into a coffee shop towards closing time and order a drink, then ask, “Do you offer any discounts on pastries at the end of the day?” Or you can always try to negotiate on your monthly plan for any utility like the Internet, your cell provider, or even auto insurance.
Next week, we wrap this series up with what happens if you get big fat N.O.?! (Or what to do if the company is going through layoffs or the economy is feeling
This series is inspired by my third book 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲 𝗠𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗮𝗹𝗸𝘀 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘆. Want help about navigating awkward conversations at work, with friends, family or romantic partners? Well, you can get more advice and scripts in Broke Millennial Talks Money. Available wherever books are sold.